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12 May

One of the hard and fast rules of dating and not being creepy is recognizing that everybody has boundaries and those boundaries are flexible; some people have greater levels of access to us than others because we have different levels of intimacy with them.

One of the keys of what makes somebody creepy is very simple: creepers assume a greater level of intimacy than actually exists.

The almost obsequious fawning in the message on Facebook makes it even more clear that this isn’t going to go anywhere good; sucking up isn’t a good look on .

So how do you gauge what’s likely out of your level?

Approaching people you don’t know and have no connection to means that you have to behave accordingly.

Tracking them down on social media, randomly texting them (when they didn’t give you their number) or proclaiming your undying devotion for them when you don’t actually know each other are all examples of assuming excess levels of intimacy.

People who assume (or try to take) a greater level of intimacy than they actually have are creepy because they’re ignoring your boundaries.

Pushing and pushing for Spelman to respond to him, switching social media platforms when she wouldn’t respond to him on the previous one?

This is someone who’s demonstrating poor social calibration; he’s getting a very obvious brush-off and keeps trying anyway.

it’s ok to approach women is to consider the social context of the situation.

At any given time, there are generally accepted rules that define what behavior is considered acceptable and appropriate for the situation.