Dating a man divorced twice

11 Feb

This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.If the separated man isn’t sure about reconnecting with his partner and a new relationship would make that option far less likely, he may not want to lose those choices so chooses to keep his options open by separating those two worlds.The heartache that arises if and when those clandestine relationships are discovered never harbors a good outcome.The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship.Time the Prior Relationship Has Existed All committed relationships go through stages where the partners feel connected and that they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, and other times where one or both starts to feel that the partnership is on a collision course.

People in unstable situations often make in-the-moment decisions that have nothing to do with what they may need or want as time elapses.

A floppy relationship triangle exists when the man in question is at the apex of that triangle and the two women are represented by the other two points.

Each woman is connected to the man but they are not usually connected to each other. The gamut can run from two women who have known one another in the past, even possibly friends, to total strangers who are now connected to each other only by being attached in some way to the same man.

Floppy relationship triangles are essentially unstable and the outcomes are not only unpredictable, but often dire.

There are many factors that can affect these triangulated relationships, and how they are combined can affect the outcome in different ways.